If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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