so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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