I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
