Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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