we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
