He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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