he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
