im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
