sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
