whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
