im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You can't motorboat a personality
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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