So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Randomize
