The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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