At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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