I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
