it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize