ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
