I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
