brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
