WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
