how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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