I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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