Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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