Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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