Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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