I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize