I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
