We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
