How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
