Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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