I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
