So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
