I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
