now i know why i became what i already was.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I didn't notice because vodka
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
