were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
