can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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