the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
