it was like his penis was on wheels.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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