i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
