Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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