Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
