I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
