I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
