Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
