Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
