I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
