does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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