Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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