this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
