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Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
