ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm both gender and math confused
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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