i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
