i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
