i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
And then he peed in my hair
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