Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
