so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
