highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
