Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize