I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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