took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
