So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
third nipple confirmed
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
