i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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