awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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