Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize