How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
