Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
