I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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