from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We left an ass print on the piano.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize