You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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